Photographs
by Mibamonster
Summary: Oneshot. When James comes over to Lily's house for the first time, he goes through her old photographs. When he finds one of her and Snape, Lily tells him about their friendship and why it ended. Jily.


By the time Lily had closed the door, James was already stretched out on her bed, picking up things from her nightstand. Glad she had remembered to put away some of her more embarrassing stuff, like her childhood bunny Elly and a couple of really bad romance novels, she sat down in her desk chair.

'So this was your room,' James said. 'It's nice.'

'I cleaned it before you came,' she admitted. 'I thought your first impression should not be polluted by dirty underwear and old magazines. Unless you needed some advice on "What To Do When Your Best Friend Turns Out To Be A Lesbian", in which case I can look up the last issue.'

He stared contemplatively at the ceiling. 'I did always think Sirius showed some lesbian tendencies…'

'The article said you should still support him, although you should make it very clear that you're not romantically interested in him. Unless _you_ are romantically interested, of course.' She raised her eyebrows. 'I mean, the article didn't say that, but that's my advice.'

'Thanks, Evans.' He moved to the side a bit and motioned for her to come over. When she did, he wrapped his arms around her, his nose buried in her hair. 'I was planning on telling you this for a while, but Sirius and I…'

Sighing, she snuggled closer to him. 'James, sometimes I feel Sirius is more in a relationship with you than I am. It's like sometimes he is dating you, and then later I feel like _I _am going out with the both of you.' She craned her neck to look up at him and said, 'So if you're going to be in a relationship with Sirius, the least he could do is share.'

'I'll discuss it with him.' But the expression on his face told her that he had very little to discuss with Sirius. She loved seeing him like this: his hair messy, a smile playing around his lips, and his eyes shining with happiness behind his glasses. It was a look he always gave her before he kissed her, and when his lips found hers, she responded with enthusiasm, pressing her body against his. Her hands found her way to the hem of his shirt and then underneath it, and she grinned when he flinched.

'Merlin, Evans, your hands are cold,' he said, barely moving his lips away from hers.

'If you were a gentleman, you'd let me warm them up on you…'

'Unfortunately…' He broke the kiss, and took her hands in his. 'You're dating a Marauder. We're hardly gentlemanly. Also, isn't your sister in the next room?'

Lily rolled on her back, scowling in frustration. 'Since when does that bother you?'

'Since I can hear the music she's playing through the wall. Besides, what would your parents think of me?'

She wondered if she should tell him that this had, in fact, been discussed with her parents. Several times. And that her mother had given her a box of condoms, because it was better to be safe than sorry. And the very meaningful look her father had given her before she showed James the first floor. 'Oh, I don't think they'd mind.'

'Still. I was exploring your room. Stop using your womanly charms to distract me from my mission.' Grinning, he gave her a quick kiss before leaping off the bed and moving over to her desk. Lily watched as he trailed his fingers over a stack of books.

'_Potions For the Mastermind_, _Seven Hundred Deadly Poisons and their Antidotes, Inventing New Potions – part three_… No wonder Slughorn is in love with you,' he said. He picked up the top book – _Potions and Animals: why Polyjuice Potion doesn't work with animal DNA and other questions_ – and started leafing through it. 'Yugh. Why would someone even _want _their owl to glow in the dark?'

'I don't know, as a party trick?'

He frowned and placed the book back on the pile. 'You need to go to better parties, Evans.'

'I'm having a party in my bed right now, want to come?'

He turned, his usual sarcastic look already in place, but halted when he saw her lying on the bed. Lily smirked, her heart beating in her throat. She was ready for some more snogging, but in an incredible show of self-restraint, James turned his attention back to her desk.

'I'll just be fashionably late,' he said. 'It'll make you appreciate me more. '

'Fine, have it your way. I'm sure my desk will be delighted to have you as its company. Enjoy my homework. I'll just entertain myself.' She reached under her bed and got out one of her magazines. (To Lily, cleaning had always been more about hiding her rubbish than actually removing it. Her philosophy was that as long as no one saw it, her room wasn't messy.) Although she pretended to be engrossed by an article on whether her diet was ruining her skin, she kept peeking over the pages to see what James was doing. It was so strange to see him in her house when he'd always been part of her Hogwarts life, but she liked it. Then again, nowadays she liked everything about James Potter, so that might have had something to do with it.

'Lily, did you know your photos aren't moving?' James picked up a picture frame and held it up for her to see.

'I know. Muggle images don't move. Didn't you take Muggle studies for over three years?'

'Yeah, but people still moved in those books. This is the weirdest thing.' He placed the frame back on the shelf and looked at the other photographs.

She got up from the bed and went to stand beside him. Most of the earliest pictures featured her and Petunia, later ones had her Hogwarts friends in them. Lily could hardly believe how young they looked in some of her photos, with chubby cheeks and glittery headbands. And then there was one picture she and James noticed at the same time.

It contained her and Severus Snape, standing in the Evans family's living room, both beaming proudly in their new Hogwarts robes. Severus looked happier than Lily had seen him in years, his dark eyes jubilant underneath a too-large hat.

'We went shopping for school supplies together,' she said, though James hadn't asked anything. 'His mother knew where to go, so she took us, but she didn't really pay attention to us once we got there.' It had been a magical day nevertheless – or maybe his mother's absence had made it all the more exciting to explore the first part of the Wizarding world she'd ever visited: Diagon Alley. She smiled as she remembered her and Severus looking through all the books in Flourish and Blotts, or the moment they'd bought their wands.

Suddenly a warm hand closed around hers and James gave her a little squeeze. 'Do you miss him? Sniv – Snape?'

She had to think about that before she answered. 'I think I miss who he was. He was always… He was my way into Hogwarts, if you understand what I mean? Before I left, he was the one who told me all about Wizards and Witches and magic, and then every time I'd get back for the holidays, he'd be near and he'd understand what it was like to be a Witch. I always felt like I could tell him anything. I miss that about him. But then…' She trailed off, her eyes focused on the image of young Severus.

'Then he called you a… You know,' James said after a while.

She shook her head slowly. 'No, it had been coming for longer than that. I mean, every time he was around his Slytherin friends and I happened to be there, too, they all looked down on me, I could tell.' She clenched her fist at the memory. 'And when I told him about _that,_ he said that they just didn't know me, and that I was different from other Muggleborns. He said that very often, that I was "different." But I shouldn't have to be different to be accepted. It's not like being a Muggleborn should matter at all.'

'And I don't think Mulciber or Avery ever saw you as different,' said James.

'Nope. Which is why they were fine treating me the way Sev treated all other Muggleborns as well.' Her lips formed a hard, thin line. 'I guess that scene by the lake just made me realize that, even though we'd been friends for years, he still held it against me. He'd never, ever see me as equal to him, because I was a Muggleborn. So…' She leaned against James's shoulder, and he let go over her hand to place his arm around her shoulder. 'If I had stayed friends with him, it would've been a matter of time before something like this would've happened anyway.'

He trailed his hand up and down her arm. 'Still. If this happened to Sirius and me, I'd be a mess.'

'Yeah, well, Sirius might be stupid sometimes, but he hadn't joined a movement that is bent on killing people like you,' she said.

James's hand froze halfway down her underarm. 'Is Snape a Death Eater? For real?'

'If he isn't yet, he will be when he leaves Hogwarts. He was always quite clear about that.' The thought made her heart clench. She just couldn't imagine Severus doing the things she'd been reading about in the papers for months: kidnapping, blackmail, the Imperius curse, torture, _murder_… 'I still don't understand how he can think what they're doing is okay, or even desirable. I don't know how he could be friends with me while agreeing with that organisation murdering Muggleborns.'

She stared at the picture, wondering when that sweet little boy had turned into a potential Death Eater. The longer she thought about it, the happier she was that she'd ended that friendship, but she couldn't help but wonder: why? Why did he feel about Muggleborns that way? Why had he wanted to be friends with her? Why had she been 'different'? And would that difference have saved her if Voldemort had sent him after her?

James kissed her temple and she closed her eyes, hoping the images of Severus in a Death Eater's mask would disappear. 'It just makes me wonder how much of our friendship was real in the first place.'

'I don't think he faked that,' James said. 'I think he did really care about you. Maybe he really didn't see you as a Muggleborn or something.'

'But I am! He shouldn't have liked me despite me being a Muggleborn, or by pretending I wasn't one – ' she started, pushing James away, but he kept his arm firmly around her.

'I know. I agree one hundred per cent,' he said. 'I'm just saying that might've been how he was thinking.'

'It's a stupid way of thinking,' she told his T-shirt.

He chuckled. 'Yeah, but Snivelly's never been known for doing things the right way.'

She wrapped her arms around his waist and let out a deep sigh. 'That's true. It's just… it's such a waste. He could've been such a great help against Voldemort, and now… I guess we'll have to do it without him.'

'We'll still win,' he said confidently.

'You seem very certain,' she said.

'I am. We're the good guys. We can't lose. In the end, people are going to see how ridiculous the idea of Pureblood superiority is. I just hope that moment is sooner rather than later. But really, with people like Dumbledore on our side... He didn't beat Grindelwald by asking politely.'

Although that was very true, Lily couldn't help but wonder what would happen to Severus if the 'good guys' did win. Most Death Eaters who were caught were sent straight to Azkaban; would that be where Severus would end up? Would he do something so horrible as to warrant that punishment?

'James?' she said, hoping to distract herself.

'Lily?'

She pulled him down for a kiss. At first even James's exquisite skill couldn't banish the dark thoughts from her mind, but she willed her worries away. Right now was a moment for her and James, in her room, together. She was going to savour this. And she did, the sensations of James's touch and smell and taste taking up all her attention.

When they finally stopped, his breathing was heavy and his pupils were dilated so far there was almost no hazel discernible anymore. Lily swallowed. She could still feel James on her lips, and all she wanted was to kiss him again.

'I, um, love you,' she said, by means of explanation. 'Thank you for not being a racist prick.'

'Anytime, Evans. In fact…' He scooped her up and rested his forehead against hers. 'I could not be a racist prick again. I could even do it at that party you invited me to, if I'm still welcome.'

Smiling, she pressed a soft kiss on his nose. 'You're always welcome, Mr Potter. Even without a glowing owl.'


End file.
